Zoelogically Thinking

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WHO AM I ?

I’m Zoe. I’m a mother and I’m divorced. Along the journey I’ve gotten degrees and certifications (bleh), I’ve been a personal trainer, marketer, consultant, nutritional coach, dating coach, writer, runner, cook, the list goes on. In all I've had varying degrees of success, but I've got the parenting and divorce down pat (ha)!

Relationships aren’t over as soon as you sign the papers, and the strange mix of emotions and steps you go through with a divorce are oddly the very things that can lead you to finding your best self and living your most fulfilling life in EVERY AREA. The sooner you realize this, find the resources to help get you there, and connect with those who understand, the quicker your path to contentment and hope, which is nirvana in my eyes.

One of Many Love Letters to My Ex

One of Many Love Letters to My Ex

Once in a while I feel like writing a love note to my ex, and now is one of those times. This may be because I feel like killing him so much of the time, so when I feel love, I want to sing it out to everyone. He has an incredible power that he just doesn’t even realize. In fact, most of us have this power I think, but few of us use it. A few supportive words can change someone’s world, and take nothing away from the giver. We all have those days, weeks, times when every time

Putting the Kids First Might Make YOU Happier

Putting the Kids First Might Make YOU Happier

I’m in the airport, early for a change, waiting to fly back home. Just spent three days visiting my oldest at college for family weekend. I hadn’t seen him since August-the longest two and half months of my life, and the shortest three days. Oh, I love that kid! Seeing him was the highlight, but now that the weekend is over, I can see that the second greatest thing about this trip is that we did it as a family, and it was pretty damn successful! My two daughters and my ex wer

Accepted or Not, Man Bashing Helps No One

Accepted or Not, Man Bashing Helps No One

So many women, often after having been through a number of bad relationships, experiences, or divorce, have gotten to a point where they begin to see men as a single entity and as a magnet for all of their anger and hurt. I understand how this happens, and how hard it is not to fall into this pit. That anger is somewhat protective and natural, but I can’t see how it can make anyone happy. Hence, the two-month wait to see any decent therapist these days! How often have you hea

Yes, Me Too

Yes, Me Too

Since the Vegas shootings, I have felt bombarded from every side with controversial and emotional issues. So many feelings have been stirred up that I had to take a step back from writing. I have felt tongue tied, afraid to upset others, maybe more afraid to explore how deep my feelings go on some of these subjects, and at times conflicted and unsure about what those feelings even are. I’m going to try again. Harvey Weinstein is a pig, no doubt, but really all of the shock an

The Sexual Imperative

The Sexual Imperative

I was channel surfing yesterday as I ran on the treadmill (basically the only time I watch TV, but since I do it a lot, I tend to watch a lot) and came across a show I’d never seen (a rarity). I watched about 15 minutes, but I’ve been thinking about it ever since. A Night With My Ex. Well, first, the thought of a night with MY ex would not make for very good TV for many reasons, but I do get that every situation is different. This couple profiled certainly hit the reality TV

Human Connection is Our Panacea

Human Connection is Our Panacea

I woke up this morning in a hotel room, and like many other Americans, the first thing I did was grab my phone. Immediately I saw the many news notifications about the Las Vegas shootings. Mixed into the middle of all the red notices was a green text message from my daughter. “Las Vegas:(” She had reached out to me when she first heard. This brought back sharp memories from a couple of years ago when I woke up on vacation and looked at my phone only to see that there had been

Awareness is Like the Sun

Awareness is Like the Sun

"Awareness is like the sun. When it shines on things, they are transformed." --Thich Nhat Hanh Most of us can probably agree that self awareness can bring a needed sense of peace after enduring life altering and traumatic events such as divorce. What isn’t often discussed is that self awareness (of sorts) can sometimes lead TO the end of (usually unhealthy) relationships or divorce. Sometimes you have to make a choice, and it can be a very difficult one. Do we better oursel

Loyalty is a Gift, Not an Expectation

Loyalty is a Gift, Not an Expectation

“I need your top 5 values.” This was a text from my daughter last week. Easy, loyalty. Well, now what? And why did that one come so fast? Wait, is loyalty even a value? Maybe it’s just a command, something that doesn’t require thinking, but blind acceptance. Values should be carefully considered, as they are basically rules to live by. Then maybe values should be something that doesn’t necessarily require thinking and consideration at every turn. Loyalty as a value was becomi

Passion Required, Going Forward

Passion Required, Going Forward

I recently gave a quote to Bustle on-line magazine for an article outlining times that a lack of passion in a relationship might not be a bad thing. This was an interesting angle for me to consider, since passion is so vitally important to me in every area—intimate relationships, friendships, parenting, work, play. I have an opinion about almost everything and want those around me to as well! I thrive on heated discussion and debate. I want to surround myself with people who

The Only Thing a Woman Needs to Know to Date Successfully

The Only Thing a Woman Needs to Know to Date Successfully

Ok, let’s step away from anything too serious for a moment and talk about dating. There’s dating before you get married, there’s dating after you get married. There may be dating while you’re married, but that’s another blog (stay tuned!). Dating should be fun for everyone involved, but can come with a lot of stress for many of us. I have many single, dating friends, and I see who’s successful and who struggles. I have a basic dating philosophy for women that I see reinforced

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